Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Slight Meltdown - just slight......

Just wanted to send out some mad props to Pat for putting up with me last night.....seriously dude, you are some kind of Saint.

I keep reading in my "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book that the mood swings / emotions are supposed to be evening out, but it appears to me as if they are getting worse. Its just not something I deal with very well. I'm trying to improve, not keep stuff bottled up inside, but sometimes I just explode, and Pat bears the brunt of it. He's the only one here! I would really rather not do that, but I guess sometimes you don't have a choice.

Before I get to what the meltdown was about last night, I must mention this - baby is inside me moving around like a Kung Fu fighter! Mostly he is active in the evenings, just before I go to bed. I've been trying to encourage Pat to "concentrate" and put his hand on my belly and just wait, with the hopes of maybe feeling something, but up until now the kung fu action hasn't been strong enough to feel on the outside. Even our Doc said it might be another month or two.....

Until last night! I think that was the first time he kind of thought he may have felt something :) It was pretty exciting! It still isn't very strong movement, but its strong enough where I can actually see my belly move a bit from the outside, so I figured he'd be able to feel something.

Anyway, back to my meltdown. (side note: why do meltdowns always occur in the middle of the night? Why can't I meltdown, somewhere around, oh, say, the afternoon time? Its like 11:00PM and my body just decides - yes, lets have a crying fest right now, right when you should be sleeping. ugh. Frustrating I tell you!) I occasionally have felt this pang of loneliness while going through this whole pregnancy process. Yes, I realize that Pat is here with me, and trust me, he is a more than incredible mate, and I'm so very fortunate to have one of the good ones......but I think many women, myself included, really would like to bond and share this incredible time of change and craziness with other women important in their lives. Moms, sisters, best friends, cousins - whatever.

Those women in my life are all relatively far away.

Yes, closer to me now than when I was in Mexico - but still far away where I don't get to do silly things like preggo clothes shopping or evening ice cream runs with them or even *gasp* have them make a fuss over me (how horribly selfish of me, no? hey man, I'm just being honest here). I communicate through email, phone calls, etc, but its just not enough to really share the experience with them. Although I am beginning to make friends here, that is still not the same, either. Then, those thoughts brought up the realization that Pat and I are going to be raising this child alone. That's pretty much when I lost it. Having grown up with all my family close at hand was really a fantastic thing - there was always someone around to help, to teach, to show you the way. And not to say that I'm afraid we won't be able to do it, because we will - and I know we will be great parents - its just that comfort of knowing that your mom or aunt could swing by at a moments notice is no longer there. And that is sometimes a scary, overwhelming feeling!

But - today is a new day. Bright, happy and wonderful. I'm wearing my new maternity bras I purchased last Friday (Pat even went shopping with me - poor guy! He's SUCH a trooper!) and my boobs are looking (and feeling) fabulous and supported (albeit GIANT), and of course, my belly is rounding out and really starting to look pregnant instead of chubby! That, my friends, is very exciting!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Holy hips batman!

I've mentioned before this pregnancy has been relatively uneventful - especially as far as aches and pains go. I've had some here and there, but nothing that I would call chronic or severe. The sciatic nerve has been the worst, and thats been intermittent at best.

Last weekend was my first taste of "OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING TORN TO PIECES" kind of pain. I know I know, I shouldn't complain now - because if I bitch about little stuff now, how the heck am I ever going to handle labor.....but just hear me out.

Let me preface this by saying I probably self inflicted the majority of the pain. I took a long walk home from Wrigley Field on Friday (2.5 miles?) and rode the bike 7 miles on Saturday - then trapsed around in high heels for a while on Saturday night......so I'm sure those things didn't help.

Anyway, since I've been having to sleep on my side, I wake up feeling like I was hit by a truck in the middle of the night. Just all sorts of achy, especially in my hips and shoulders. This weekend though, even the pillow in between my legs didn't help at all. I'm assuming it was just all part of the natural, hip widening process (yes, apparently my hips were not wide enough already)....but, sweet LORD it was painful. It was like someone strapped each side of me up to a medieval torture device, and was just cranking up the machine to pull me a part at the hips. ugh!

One morning I woke up at around 4:30AM and couldn't go back to sleep. Nothing helped - I downed Tylenol like it was going out of style, went into the living room and layed in the recliner and elevated my legs....nothing seemed to help. I finally ended up taking a nap in the bathtub.......I found out (now here's a nice visual) if I flipped over belly down and propped myself up on my elbows and balanced with my feet and knees, I could "float" in the bathtub....and that finally gave me enough relief to sleep for a while longer and make the pain go away. I pretty much stayed at home off my feet on Sunday, and by Monday the pain was tolerable. It seems to be fine now.

The other great thing is that we bought a new mattress, and it is like sleeping on heaven. I felt so rested this morning, and didn't spend half the night flippin' and floppin' around! I hope it keeps me feeling that way! I also had a 60 minute massage today too - so I should sleep very well tonight. And I'll have to remember to not overdo the exercise, so I can avoid that kind of pain again!!!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Half way there!

Had the 20 week check up and ultrasound today - we're halfway to the finish line! It was an ETERNA-APPOINTMENT.....just seemed to last forever! Luckily, Pat was there with me so it wasn't too bad. The ultrasound wasn't too bad either...lots of icky goo and rearranging myself to try to get the baby to move around the right way...but the little bugger didn't want to cooperate! Finally after probably about an hour or so, the tech got the final shot of the spine she was looking for, and everything looks A-OK! Baby O'Brien was all scrunched up anyway, so even if we did want to determine the sex, I don't think we would have been able to.

The visit with Dr. Kelsey went Okie doke too......just talk about sciatic nerve issues, sex, and allergy management. On our trip to Tucson I had convinced myself that I was taking too much allergy medication (and almost sent myself into a panic attack), but Dr. assures me I can take the recommended dosage every day, and everything should be just fine. And really, whats the point in suffering?

He also told me that this is now the part of the pregnancy where you start to get really huge. The uterus grows upwards of 1 centimeter every week. HA! Great - just what I was looking forward to! As if I wasn't feeling huge enough already! I gained about 4.5 pounds since last appointment, for a grand total of around 7 ish or so. Not too bad, but still difficult to get used to.

Of course, driving by all the half naked people on the beach on the way home didn't help things, either. I came to the realization that I will probably be over the 200 pound mark at the end of this pregnancy, which will put me at 50 pounds gained since Pat & I got together in 2005. *sigh* That didn't make me feel very good at all - even if this is all for a good cause. So I've been in a funk for most of the evening. I'm a super lucky girl though - because my most favorite amazing man did ALL the laundry (washed, dried and put away!), changed the sheets, cleaned up cat barf, vacuumed the rugs and let me soak for 2 hours in the bathtub.....all without making me feel one iota guilty (although I did - for a minute). I'm not sure if he knows how amazing he is, and what a blessing it is to have him in my life!

OK, enough of that - here's the good stuff! The tech took at least 100 photos of our blob-turned-baby O'Brien (who, apparently loves vanilla ice cream because I just had a little bit and he's all topsy turvy kung foo fighting in my belly right now) and here are a few of the ones for you to see! Keep in mind, I'm using "he" here, but I have no idea.....I just seem to think its a boy.

Here's baby looking down, legs are curled up on the left of the pic - you can also see the spine pretty clearly - and a little black blob that is his bladder.


He's looking at us! You can see his eye socket pretty clearly, and make out the chin (Pat says he can see the other eyeball area, nose and mouth, but I think he's full of poo). Pat says he kind of looks like an elf - I'm thinking more like an alien. Potato - potahto

OOOOHHHHH! Look at the cute tootsies!

One arm covering his face......"Please folks, no more photographs, I'm spent! Where's my assistant! I need a spritzer!" One arm was always on his head, and the other was down by his butt. I figured he was itching it or something. Either that or playing with himself. One time we got a shot of his arm all by itself.....he was flexing I think.....saying "Yup - here you go - two tickets to the Gun Show!".

Awwww - all suckin' his thumb and stuff! What an adorable little arm! And a fabulous profile, if I do say so myself :)

Tis all for now! Hope you enjoyed the pics! It was pretty cool for us to see them too :)

Monday, May 7, 2007

Travel et all.

Traveling while being pregnant hasn't been as horrific as I anticipated. As long as I keep hydrated and move my legs around a bit, I don't get too uncomfortable. I did get a birds eye view of parenthood on our flight home from San Diego though. There was a couple in front of us with their young son - about 3 or 4 years old. He ralphed ALL over the place about a half an hour into the flight. Surprisingly, I didn't get grossed out....I was just trying to help by offering more barf bags and mints for the little dude. I felt so bad!

I also did very well while we were at Sea World and the Zoo - I didn't get too tired....although I've been having some serious issues with my sciatic nerve in my butt/hip/leg. Not much fun. Just trying to do lots of stretches and hot compresses to alleviate the pain.

Mr/Ms Blob is very active in my belly, but still no dice on feeling it from the outside!

Also, over dinner one night I think we just decided to change our names we had picked out. Not gonna spill the beans though - just in case we change our minds again :) I love these new ones though!

Got some allergy meds which are making me MUCH more less congested! But, last night I was up ALL stinkin' night.....so I'll have to not take them so late next time. At least I could breathe though!

Next appointment is May 14 - after we get back from Tuscon! I'll let you know how it all goes!